Would You Like Fries With That?

Sometimes all a woman wants is a good burger and some French fries. What's more, she wants her husband, the Hindu, to eat a burger and fries with her. So she makes lentil burgers, oven fries, and salad with Green Goddess dressing, and all is right with the world.

I started this meal excited about the burger and fries, but ended with a passion for the Green Goddess salad dressing. We found it was good on pretty much everything. The five-year-old liked it better than ketchup for her fries, which is saying a lot. Of course, the three-year-old only ate ketchup, no fries. Such is life, I guess.

I used Mark Bittman's recipes for the veggie burger and oven fries, from the encyclopedic How to Cook Everything Vegetarian. (This book truly lives up to its title – it even sports a recipe for seaweed "mayonnaise." I'm curious. Haven't tried it yet, but am curious.) My husband had his lentil burger with rice, while I had mine as a lone patty. But feel free to eat it as a regular old burger in a bun, with all the fixings. Whatever you want to do.

For the general idea of the Green Goddess, I relied on my good old 1964 edition of The Joy of Cooking, which has never steered me wrong, recipe for muskrat notwithstanding. (Muskrat is to be served with creamed celery. Who knew?)

Lentil Burgers (adapted from Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything Vegetarian)
2 cups well-cooked brown lentils
1 small onion, quartered
1/2 cup rolled oats
1 tablespoon chili powder or spice mix of your choice (Be creative. I used a tablespoon of leftover extremely garlicky tomato sauce.)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper (Be generous with the pepper.)
1 egg
Lentil cooking liquid if necessary

Combine all ingredients (except cooking liquid) in a food processor and pulse until combined. The mixture should still be chunky, not pureed, and moist, but not wet. Add a little of the cooking liquid if the mixture is too dry. Conversely, if your mixture is too wet, try adding more rolled oats. Let the mixture sit for a few minutes if you have the time. It will solidify a bit and be easier to work with.

Pour a glug of oil into a non-stick skillet on medium heat. Shape the mixture into patties, and add the patties to the skillet once the oil is hot. Cook them until they are nicely browned, then flip carefully and brown the other side.

Serve them as you would a burger. Another idea is to make a veggie gyro, and serve inside pita bread, with lettuce, tomato, sliced onion, and tzatziki sauce.

Oven Fries (adapted from Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything Vegetarian)
olive oil
6 or 7 medium sized organic Russet potatoes, sliced into 1/2-inch thick wedges, skin intact
salt and pepper
three cloves of garlic, minced (optional)

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Coat a large rimmed baking sheet with olive oil. The baking sheet needs to be big enough to hold all of the potatoes in a single layer. Toss the potatoes with more olive oil, and salt and pepper. Arrange the potatoes in a single layer on the baking sheet, and bake for approximately 30 minutes, or until the potatoes are nicely browned. Sprinkle the minced garlic (if using) over the potatoes, and bake for about five more minutes. Remove the potatoes with an offset spatula (as they might stick a bit), and serve with ketchup or dipping sauce of your choice.

Green Goddess Dressing (loosely adapted from 1964 edition of The Joy of Cooking)
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream
1 clove garlic
handful of chives
handful of cilantro
juice of half a lemon
salt and pepper to taste

Add all ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth. Use as a salad dressing on a sturdy lettuce like Romaine. Romaine lettuce mixed with accents of cavolo nero (dinosaur kale) works well. Also great as a dip for French fries and vegetables. The husband liked it slathered atop his lentil patties and rice. The dressing tastes better the next day, but even giving a half hour for the flavors to meld is worthwhile if you have the time.